Bipolar Rollercoaster

Journey into the tumultuous mind of a mother besieged by psychosis. Tasked with the immense love and responsibility of five children, she is caught in a relentless battle, yearning to shield them, yet grappling with scars from her past that hinder the very connections she desires. In a world clouded by diagnoses – Bipolar Disorder, psychotic illness, and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) – clarity becomes elusive.Yet, amidst the chaos, she discovers an oasis in poetry. Each verse becomes a lifeline, a way to navigate the storm and reach out to the world. Her heartfelt compositions aren’t merely an expression; they’re a plea to underscore the importance of understanding and aiding those grappling with mental health challenges.

Nikki Carmody is a single parent to five children and lives in the UK. She used to love life with a passion, up until four years ago when she was diagnosed with emotional personality disorder and then shortly after, bipolar disorder. Life since has proven extremely difficult as she has an average of one psychotic episode every couple of months. Each one can last between two and four days, and can be described as ‘the worst feeling in the world’.

Over time, Nikki noticed family friends and others not listening to her, not because they are rude, but because they simply don’t understand. She feels that no one does and that to most people, she simply comes across as crazy. This is what inspired her to stop talking to others and instead put her thoughts and feelings on paper.

Far from an expert writer, these are all genuine thoughts and feelings mixed with emotion, resulting in poems that will hopefully help you feel a little comfort, knowing that someone else out there is going through the same thing.