Life According to Brian-bookcover

By: B. M. Dawes

Life According to Brian

Pages: 282 Ratings: 4.9
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Life According to Brian chronicles 44 stories of mishap and misadventure of a scale unparalleled in modern man. Disguised in comedy to protect the seriously guilty, the story follows Brian’s escapades traversing the world and captures not only the lunacy of life but the luck involved in avoiding one’s own death.

The guidebook for the mentally impaired includes: poaching, drugs, imprisonment, kidnapping, poisonings, alien hunters, crocodile suicide and much, much more…

The sorry episodes are being played out via a game of chess. God and Charles Darwin, seeking to save mankind, are plotting Brian’s untimely demise. The winner of each play gets to choose the method of death. Constantly interrupted by visiting deities, kings, queens and E.T., the two main players are frustrated in their attempts to have some peace and play the game, with a nice cup of tea and some Mr Kipling cake.

Send the kids away, euthanise the cat, find a comfy chair, pour a pint of the finest whisky…have a reliable psychiatrist on speed dial.

Come inside and enjoy the ride…

B. M. Dawes was born in Perth, Australia, in 1971, where he first discovered his fear of venomous snakes. This legitimate threat to life would then follow Brian to Zambia from the age of three to six. Escaping not only the marauding bandits and numerous attempts by his loving sister to shorten his already young years, Brian would then flee to Bahrain where he would misadventure throughout his teens. He attended university in Queensland, Australia, where he learnt his trade as a professional drinker and erred on the side of erring. He currently lives in Edinburgh, Scotland, with his long-suffering partner and two loving children, who have a pending life policy on their benevolent dad.

Customer Reviews
4.9
10 reviews
10 reviews
  • Bruce T

    Hugely enjoyed reading the tales of misadventure and general debauchery and frolicking around the world via the aid of beer, tequila and other random drinks. Quite how Brian is still with us to tell these tales is beyond me - they say cats have 9 lives, well Brian has close to 30 of the buggers and I suspect he still has a few more hidden to pull out the bag when God and Charles decide to have another game of chess. Highly amusing and a great reference guide for how not to kill yourself whilst partying like a rock star. Buy it, read it and enjoy.

  • david t.

    Hilariously witty book about Brian's life thus far. He is certainly a cat that has 99 lives...how he has survived some of his misadventures goodness only knows. his liver must have the constitution of an ox and his parents and Gran deserve an award of enduring years of worry and anxiety. A must read book...absolute page turner....can't recommend highly enough.

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