From Navy Blue Knickers to the Driving Test

This book required a lifetime of experience and sixteen years to write. Mind you, there was an eight-year gap in the middle when the author had to return to full-time, salaried employment. The chapters are presented alphabetically, so in theory it is possible to take any chapter, and read it in its own right. Once a reader has read all twenty-six chapters, he or she will have a sum of all the parts: a completed ‘jigsaw’ of Hal T. Strapel’s story. Truth or fiction? Let the reader decide.

Jane C.:

“In ‘Turning Thai’, I think a very vivid picture of Thailand is presented — it all sounded very exotic to me sitting in dull old middle England. Lots of well-described local colour and all fluently articulated. The author met up with some colourful characters and gives an honest appraisal of how they affected him as a traveller in uncharted territory. There is definitely an eye for detail and the sights, sounds and smells leap off the page. I had a good laugh at the cockroach episode, which sounds very callous of me, but it resonated with me as I had a similar sort of experience in Sicily with a very large spider.”

John H.:

“I found ‘Bilious Belligerent Bowels’ highly entertaining, particularly when Hal was describing the attentions of the nurse and her colleagues.

Charlie H.:

“I found ‘Queenish Quirks’ an intriguing and easy read that connects cultures in a relatable way.”

Lee F.:

“I enjoyed reading ‘Lust for Lingerie’. It sounds voyeuristic in itself! As a man who spent his working life in ladies knickers I can see the author is knowledgeable!”

Johnny B.:

From Sitzkrieg to Blitzkrieg

I’d seen chaps killed before, of course: Tuppy Horton was the first; accidentally garroted by his own braces, whilst playing ‘Cowboys and Indians’ back in 1922. There had been raw terror in poor old Tuppy’s bulging, bloodshot eyes as he dangled by his neck from that apple tree, while the rest of us just stood and gawped. Then there was Stiffy Plantagenet; who was knocked down on the tennis court at his home, by a motor car driven (in reverse) by his inebriated Aunt Agatha – I seem to remember that Plantagenet was absent from school for quite some time before it was announced by the Headmaster that old Stiffy had finally shuffled-off his bucket, kicked his clogs, and popped his mortal coil.

I have just remembered another one, too: Benjamin Alistair Drayton, who drowned in Tatlock Pond (whilst I warmed my palms on his sister Millicent’s bare breasts in a nearby thicket). I didn’t actually see him drown, of course (having, as I did, my hands rather full at the time), but I watched Mr Mulgrew and Constable Pinchworthy fish Drayton’s lifeless, floppy corpse from the stagnant water afterwards.

This was the first time that I’d seen a chap killed so horribly though; a shell had exploded nearby and shrapnel had completely smashed Simpson’s face in; his belly was torn wide-open, and his wet, shiny innards spilled out onto the brown earth. (Needless to say, he did not live for long.) I paused for a moment, drew a deep breath, and then vomited so hard that my backside trumpeted loudly. (“Pffrrrt!”)

From the Heart

Two women from different walks of life meet up in London.

One who is divorced and nearing her 60s, starts over in a new country, away from the States, with a new career. The other in her 40s, a policewoman who is nonchalant about love after falling in and out of love.

Both women think that they are “over the hill” and have got used to just living their lives. They have a chance encounter and find they are instantly attracted to one another. Going through the “will they, won’t they” when it comes to staying together.

A heart-warming and heartfelt story. A realistic love story that is emotionally charged. A love story that knows no bounds – sexuality, colour, or age. We all carry baggage and it’s how we adapt and fit another person into our lives once we fall in love.

Loving anyone requires faith that the person won’t crush your heart. It’s very painful. It requires hope, optimism, and living in the moment. No one is bound to us. They come and go on free will. The very fact that they chose us out of free will to be with us is wonderful! We too have free will to learn, grow and love without being chained down with promises. We don’t know what the future holds! 

From the Leader's Chair

Kenneth Sillito is internationally recognised as one of Britain's most distinguished musicians. Born in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, he studied with David Martin at the Royal Academy of Music, and in Rome with Remy Principe. His first major appointment was as associate leader of the newly created English Chamber Orchestra in 1960. He was subsequently appointed leader and remained with the orchestra until 1973, during which time he established a worldwide reputation as both director and soloist. In 1967, he founded the Gabrieli String Quartet, which swiftly established itself as one of this country's leading chamber ensembles. With the Academy of St Martin-in-the-Fields, which he joined in l980, Kenneth led and directed innumerable distinguished recordings and performances until his retirement in 2012. He was made a Fellow of the Royal Academy in 1971 and awarded the highly prestigious Cobbett Medal in 2017 by The Worshipful Company of Musicians for his services to chamber music.

From the Mountain to the Waterfall

Come one, come all

Lace up your boots

It’s time for the hike

Side by side

Or single file, if you like

Pack your bag

With new & the old

The familiar, yet unfamiliar

Dress for the cold

Off on the journey, sticks in the ground

The guide leads the way

No map to be found

One foot in front of the other

The sun up ahead

The path unfamiliar

Companions, friends, lovers

Waiting to be led

From Wellies and Chapped Legs to Brogues

Ten-year-old David’s life is not easy, living in dire circumstances with his alcoholic mother in a wreck of a home. His one true friend is Rebecca, the other children tolerate or make fun of him.

Following an accident, he is befriended by Hobo, who moves in and out of the village with his belongings in a pram.

When David’s mother dies over the Christmas period, he spends time at Rebecca’s home and is then taken into care. He escapes, seeks solace with Hobo and together they escape the village, and in time, David is sent to live with Hobo’s brother on the South Coast, where he learns Hobo’s story.

Here, David's life changes completely, but there are still setbacks and challenges along the way before he returns to the village and his life becomes entwined once again with Rebecca.

From Where I Stand

When two or more people find sufficient in common to call themselves ‘us’, they will strengthen their togetherness by looking for a ‘them’ to dislike.

Indarjit’s law

It’s fashionable to talk of ‘hate crime’ as if a small minority of people are infected with a virus of hate against those they see as different. It is not like that. Prejudice and fear of difference affects us all. 

I learnt about my Sikh religion almost as an outsider looking in to find surprising teachings on justice, compassion and a need to stand up for others.

Discrimination in employment in the ’60s, normal and lawful at the time, led to my turning down a well-paid job to go to India, where writing under the pen name of Victor Pendry, I became a local hero to the Sikh community suffering majority persecution. This standing up to injustice through writing, speaking and importantly, humour, is the story of this book.

You cannot choose your battlefield

 God does that for you

 But you can plant a standard

Where  a standard never flew.

Nathalia Crane

From Worthy Down to Diego Suarez

From the moment when Douglas, a torpedo bomber pilot, became a double agent, he was marked for extinction by both sides. In the early years of World War II, Naval Intelligence saw him as dangerously unreliable while the GRU discovered that during the Spanish Civil War he supported POUM, anathema to Joseph Stalin who believed they were allies of Trotsky. After he had been awarded the DSC, attempts to murder him began in earnest for the third time. The hope was to kill him in action. Who would strike the first blow?

Frostbite

An imagination-inspiring story of how Fred Frostovski, son of Dracon, the much-feared king of the vampires, has to go about restoring his race to the top of the food chain after a rather difficult start to life.

Dracon's brother, Amadeus, plans to usurp the crown has backfired, as Amadeus himself is betrayed somewhat by the evil Ice Queen he had been colluding with. Little did he know the Ice Queen had her own plans to use his betrayal to wipe out the much-feared vampire race and then enslave the traitorous brother to use as her own personal pet.

The Ice Queen's evil plan was almost perfect until unbeknown to everybody involved, Fred Frostovski managed to make it out of the carnage alive, albeit in a slightly different state. And he is hellbent on revenge. 

Frozen

You are not alone in your grief and anger. You are not alone in your despair, waiting for an honest call to action. You are not alone in your need to be empowered and emboldened. May you find the companionship you seek as you read the poems of Frozen.
And together, we will thaw.

Fruit Salad Friendship

One day Banana decides to split from her bunch!

She is sick of being teased by the other bananas for being too straight and tall so she runs away to try and find some new friends.

She bravely boards the bus and soon meets Apple, Orange and Grape.

Throughout the journey, they each learn just how special they are when seen through each other’s eyes and the seeds of a fabulous friendship are sown.

Fucking Pterodactyl

Margareta du Plessis the Republican Madam Prime Minister does “Madam Prime Minister’s Questions” as she takes a few swipes at her pterodactyl Democrat opposite by calling him a “fucking pterodactyl” over his sex allegations of her gay brother’s doings with a European male whore on live Gay TV the night before, by tossing her half-drunk glass of wine right at him where it just missed him by inches as it pulverized upon the olive-green work-bench right beside him. Madam Prime Minister also had a go at her pterodactyl counterpart over the acquisition of androids which work without any pay and don’t require any food, that are set to replace general biological office workers who she’s commissioned to immediately work in an Andromeda exotic jewellery mining colony for jewels to be made and sold intergalactically. So, the pterodactyl calls for immediate strikes in the House of Commons, London, circa 30,050 AD. in an alternate sci-fi reality.