I Do Not Want a Fish Finger Sandwich

Being shown the private convenience of the Queen of England in The House of Commons was not the career highlight that Viv had expected.  A dazzling profession as a Prima Ballerina had been her plan but having two legs of the same length and width would appear to be a pretty strong prerequisite for a successful livelihood in that arena, not to mention a couple of ballet lessons at least. 

What did happen along the way were a random selection of activities which were not anticipated either:

• Inter-store “It’s a Knockout” on Cable TV
• Jumping the queue at the Austria/Slovakian Border Control
• Attempted mugging in Bratislava
• A West Highland White disgrace on National TV
• Acquiring a temporary Iranian Bodyguard
• Drinking schnapps in an isolated house in Eskilstuna

LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ARE MAKING PLANS

Hysterical Memories

Here is the story of a man’s life that has been riddled and ruffled with emotionally unstable personality disorder, a known mental illness. Despite spending a considerable part of his life at various rehabilitation facilities, Eugene’s life was largely marred with crazy-bound incidences. He was a convicted drug dealer with a history of violence. His case was so bad that he even attacked his dad with a claw hammer. He was everything you could think of when it came to drugs and crime. However, from the lowest depths of a mentally unstable man, Eugene rose to become one of UK’s finest chefs of all time.

How Cricket Saved My Life

An honest, often sad but humorous account of life inside a body that no longer does as it is told!

Ian Martin was a sports-loving youngster. When he realised he was more enthusiastic than talented enough to make a career out of playing sport he left home and joined the Royal Navy. This book tells the story of his experiences at sea onboard HMS Ark Royal, his service during the first Gulf War on HMS London and his subsequent medical discharge after being diagnosed with a neuro-muscular condition. Ian talks about the impact of the diagnosis, his deterioration and mental health battles and how cricket helped him transition into a wheelchair and to him finding himself, and a new career.

It’s a tale of rejection, dreams, discovery, determination, resilience and, ultimately, success via the floors of many hotel bathrooms and scrapes with airport security.

Hippie Kushi Waking up to Life

Most people as they get older tend to forget about themselves. It seems to be a normal part of the process of life and it happens to the best of us. We forget to reach our own potential because we are far too focused on bringing up a family, working long hours to pay off the mortgage and bills, locked into the cycle of the never-ending treadmill of work and career. It is easy to lose our way and disregard our own existential well-being.

Suddenly one day thirty years later, we say to ourselves, ‘What happened to the person I used to be, what happened to my life? We used to be fun, go to parties, dance the night away at night clubs and have loads of crazy friends.’ Your social life now consists of a bottle of wine at home watching TV. Your friends are getting fewer and fewer because over the years you have focused on everybody else except yourselves.

My name is Stephen Cox, I am 55 years old and I describe myself as a modern hippie. I am spiritual, forward-thinking, a traveller of the world and a lover of life. I paint my brow with the colours of the rainbow, I wear bright multi-coloured clothes and beads and I dance with my whirly friends all through the night. I am happy! I have found hippie happiness, I have found Hippie Kushi and I would love it if you find it too.

Hidden Treasure

Here is a spell-binding and profound memoir for our times, sparked by the sudden death of a beloved partner. An intensely intimate yet fresh and light approach draws us into the delights of love, the consuming nature of grief, and a potent journey which unveils the mysterious treasures inherent in heartfelt engagement with the significant ups and downs of life.

Not only are we privy to the depth of the author’s thoughts and feelings but her partner comes across as a person with a real and secret unknown life all his own beyond the page, giving an appreciation for the profundity of a person we will never directly know. And a spectacular forest in New South Wales comes alive as an integral vital companion in this journey of discovery.

Hidden Treasure is not so hidden, it is a light of mature love that two attuned adults brought to life which emerges as a spiritual journey of deep relationship with the mystery of life.

This book acknowledges the vagaries of life with all its pitfalls and yet – ultimately – it is uplifting, ending on a hopeful joyous note. It holds the potential of nourishment for those who are grieving in a world currently dominated by loss and contains inspiration of the most dignified kind, beautifully portrayed.

Hard Luck Motty

You will not be able to put this book down once you start!

Hard Luck Motty has been through everything you can imagine.

See if you can find someone who can top my life adventures!

The famous people I have met and spent time with: Hollywood superstars, sporting greats.

The family tragedies along the way.

The excitement and thrills.

The silliness.

The lessons I have learnt the hard way, in my working, sporting and fun life.

You need to read this book.

Half the Size, but Twice the Life

A biography depicting a real-life account of one woman’s incredible weight-loss story, sharing the struggles and successes throughout the journey of losing half her body weight all on her own, transforming not just herself, but her whole life—with an underlying message about going for your goals, no matter what they may be…

Grass Roots

Would you expect a suburban Melbourne solicitor to settle brothel brawls, to locate dead bodies and to search for buried bullion? The author relates all of these adventures and more as he explores engaging stories of humanity, gleaned from decades of legal practice. From courtroom characters to family feuding, the author highlights the true, yet untold stories that show a surprising side of legal practice, told with simplicity and colour. As William Shakespeare said, “An honest tale speeds best being plainly told.” Whilst the author draws on client experiences from the humorous to the harrowing, the stories are respectfully related reflections upon client battles at the grass roots.

Gathering Moss

An atmospheric, mainly biographical story set in the 1930s-1950s, of a British Naval Officer's determination to foil the enemy's wartime dive bombing of our fleet. Hundreds of lives were saved by his suggested adaptation of the big, anti-aircraft barrage balloons which were flown above cities and other land based targets, to be specially tailored for the defence of shipping as well.

Combined with this moving story is a colourful account of family life at that time, and it was not very long after the ending of the Second World War that Commander "Basher" Boorman began to find himself involved in certain minor skirmishes on his own home front.

Commander's daughters do not always obey orders, even if their father has the appropriate rank, and this teenager certainly had a mind of her own. Determined to pursue a career not approved by her father, Basher's daughter found herself to be out-manoeuvred. But battles sometimes resolve themselves in unexpected ways, as was eventually the way with this particular one.

'Gathering Moss' is a fast moving, evocative story which covers a variety of events, backgrounds, and human emotions.

Gas Meter Knees

“It wasn’t until I was 13 that I realised pressing 50 pence pieces into Plasticine sheets and filling the impressions with water, freezing overnight and quickly using the ice coins in the electric meter slots wasn’t normal behaviour.” From raiding the bins of London fashion labels, to being asked to bury dead bodies in a flyover, being beaten unconscious twice in one day, to regularly driving my inebriated maths teacher back to school for a fee, finding my boss dead in a mysterious suicide and dragging a teetering motorcyclist to safety on a busy A3 flyover to avoid certain death, the weekly war with the bailiffs doggedly trying to repossess my TV, and finally an attempt to emulate Evel Knievel by jumping a pickup truck in Wimbledon Stadium. I learned the hard way that nobody was going to save me except myself – all this before the age of 16. A real-life rags-to-relative-affluence story which takes us from humble SW17 origins to the bustling streets of Singapore and Tokyo. The story is as diverse and delightfully absurd as it gets. If I hadn’t lived every moment, I wouldn’t believe it either.

From Where I Stand

When two or more people find sufficient in common to call themselves ‘us’, they will strengthen their togetherness by looking for a ‘them’ to dislike.

Indarjit’s law

It’s fashionable to talk of ‘hate crime’ as if a small minority of people are infected with a virus of hate against those they see as different. It is not like that. Prejudice and fear of difference affects us all. 

I learnt about my Sikh religion almost as an outsider looking in to find surprising teachings on justice, compassion and a need to stand up for others.

Discrimination in employment in the ’60s, normal and lawful at the time, led to my turning down a well-paid job to go to India, where writing under the pen name of Victor Pendry, I became a local hero to the Sikh community suffering majority persecution. This standing up to injustice through writing, speaking and importantly, humour, is the story of this book.

You cannot choose your battlefield

 God does that for you

 But you can plant a standard

Where  a standard never flew.

Nathalia Crane

From Fire to Ice

I stood on the rock, in Antarctica, wearing nothing but a swimming costume, goggles and a cap, ready to dive into the ice. The water was 0°C so was the air. I have never done this before, and I had no idea what the outcome will be. Will I panic? Cardiac reaction? Have I come all this way, trained and invested so much money to dive in and flop with fear or incompetence? It was time, I counted to three and dived in and started swimming. I was alive, more alive than I have ever been in my life. Stroking up and down the little channel we made in the frozen glacial lake. “I am swimming in Antarctica.” I smiled to myself while focusing on the extreme sensation in my fingers and toes. I was fine, more than fine, I was alive! I never expected life to turn out as it did. I am still looking forward wondering what will happen next. Growing up in a small Kibbutz by the Sea of Galilei, with the paradox of tranquil sea and farming life together with the constant shelling from neighbouring Syria and Jordan, straight into our fields, homes and life, was just normal. One minute you play in the field or swim in the sea and next minute you run for your life, heading towards the nearest bunker, hearing the deafening sound of explosions around you.

Life was never meant to be easy for me, I am an uncompromising stubborn and strong-minded person. I spot bullshit from a mile and I like things simple, clear and honest. Things never are. I don’t give up easily, I don’t get scared easily and I don’t stop when I believe I am right. Life for me was and probably still is, at 63 years old, a journey of unexpected extremes. Regrets, I have a few, we all do. Would I do it all over again the same? Certainly not, I am not stupid, and I hope I would learn from my mistakes. Yet, I wake up every day, looking forward, appreciating the sea, the wave, the smell, the sound and feeling of water on my skin.