The Bott Twins: Birth, Death and Other Jokes

A grotesque, surreal and darkly comic series of tales about the most terrible family on the planet.

Mrs Bott, an horrendous “unlanced boil” of a woman and Mr Bott, “a balloon of a man”, are very unhappily married.

Into this disaster enter two unwanted arrivals: The Bott Twins.

Born bad? Or driven bad? It doesn’t matter. What you do need to know is that:

“If you ever meet the Bott Twins, run. Run and don’t look back.”

Too few people take this advice and the results are not pretty.

The Cats' Book of Christmas Carols

We cats truly enjoy Christmas activities, such as opening presents when you are out and re-arranging decorations, even at the top of the tree.

We also love carol singing and have our own words. Jan Stewart, who understands and speaks a little MEOW, has kindly written down our most popular lyrics.  

You may sing the human version or practise cat language by repeating our favourite word, ‘meow’, in time to the music. But do listen as you do so, for somewhere nearby, a cat may be joining in the chorus.

Mik and Milly

Mik and Milly follows the story of Mik, the coolest kid at Gumnut International Boarding and Day College, who finds himself facing a daunting challenge after his best friend Milly receives devastating news from her parents on the other side of the world. As mid-year school holidays approach, Mik decides to take Milly on a road trip of a lifetime to the Australian outback. However, an unexpected event at an abandoned mine on his mate’s sheep farm alters their journey forever.As they return to school, Mik and Milly look forward to their annual International Food Festival. The student planning committee decides the festival’s entertainment, and they choose to pit the teachers against the students for the first time ever. But as they prepare for the festival, Mik and Milly begin to wonder if their beef stroganoff secret recipe may be too much for the intimidating Principal Povlov to handle.Will Mik and Milly’s friendship withstand the challenges they face throughout the year, or will their experiences change the way they feel about each other forever? Mik and Milly is a heartwarming and engaging tale that takes readers on a journey through the highs and lows of adolescence, friendship, and growing up.

Please Understand Me

This book uses Dr. John Gray’s metaphor of men being from Mars and women from Venus to explore the often humorous yet sometimes stressful dynamics of parenthood. From conception to childrearing, this witty and light-hearted compendium dives into the differences in parenting ideologies between men (Martians) and women (Venetians).

The book highlights how an ‘alpha mum’ with high expectations of motherhood can amplify these differences, especially when emotions are processed differently between genders. Drawing on personal experiences and observations of other couples, Beamon presents a dad’s perspective, offering insight into how fathers attempt to live up to their partners’ expectations while keeping a smile through the challenging moments every parent will recognise.

Whether managing through empathy or a lighter touch, this book offers relatable laughs and reflections on the universal journey of raising a child.

To the Hazel Wood

A handsome brooding newcomer wanders into the local pub in tiny Lough Croi and into the life of a feisty red-head from his past. But he’s not the hero of the story, she is.

Starry-eyed, wicked-tongued Maedbh Kelly sees the world with a bartender’s insight as she struggles to lift from beige to brilliant, with the help of her family, her hilarious friends, her rowdy football team and an elderly soulmate. But when the irresistible Conal McNulty arrives, bringing secrets, lies and a history of violence, her world is thrown arse over elbow, reminding her that if trouble looks hard enough, it always finds you.

The craic is mighty in this edge-of-your-seat novel set in a modern Ireland of ancient stone walls and green fields, where the past lives alongside the present. From a long-ago crime to a dangerous family showdown to an old cottage in a hazel wood, nothing can distract Maedbh from her sense of destiny, Never on to back down from a good fight – with strong words and a steady heart – she soon finds out what separates heartbreak from happily ever after.

Full of comical twists and thrilling turns, To the Hazel Wood is a story about family and fate… true love and redemption… and the quintessential Irish creed of laughing in the face of calamity.

Percy the Plastic Bag

Percy is a proud plastic bag and wants to work hard, and he loves to carry things for people. After leaving the Feed Me Supermarket, Percy is happy to be heading out to have a life of usefulness. Unfortunately, things don’t work out quite the way he thought they would. After Percy helped carry some cupcakes to the fete at the village green, things take a terrible turn for the worse, and Percy finds himself in all sorts of trouble. Plastic pollution is having a serious effect on our environment and wildlife. This story is about the travels of some plastic characters who find themselves going from being useful to no longer needed and getting themselves into all sorts of difficulties. It is both funny and sad and is written in a way to highlight awareness to single-use plastic. Have you ever wondered what really happens to some plastic after it is used and no longer needed? Where does it go and how does it get there? Through the eyes of the plastic characters and their humorous and tragic adventure, it is hoped in a fun way, to bring a greater understanding to children about the responsibility we have to protect our world against plastic waste.

Princesses Wear Pants

From her nose to her toes,

Our little Princess grows.

But as she gets bigger,

Her mum needs to help her figure.

That bottoms should be hidden

By some pretty pants, maybe with a ribbon.

But our princess is happy,

Young, carefree and a little sassy.

We won’t be too hard,

And we love her spirit for disregard.

So celebrate her carefree ways,

And let’s embrace our little princess days.

The Tremendous Travels and Intergalactic Misgivings of the Karillapig

Do you ever find yourself looking up at the night sky and asking, ‘who lives on the dark side of the Moon?’

Well, it’s a fair question, is it not? It’s certainly up there with other such burning questions, such as, ‘If you can tune a piano, why can’t you tuna fish?’

The Tremendous Travels and Intergalactic Misgivings of the Karillapig continue on from The Adventures of the Karillapig where we follow our intrepid Moon hero, the Karillapig, who is from the dark side of the Moon, as he embarks on a series of calamitous investigations in an attempt to establish how us earth beings achieved space travel.

Incidentally, in case you were wondering – and I’m sure you were – The dark side of the Moon is inhabited by many different Moon Critters; Moon Critters come in all shapes and sizes and include favourites such as ‘The Hippobuffafrog,’ ‘The Evil Flapperbiller,’ and ‘Moofus McRadling.’ For years now, Moon Critters have puzzled over a burning question: ‘How did Earth beings achieve space travel?’ Hence the Karillapig’s investigations…

The Karillapig isn’t alone. Not at all – you may be surprised to learn that there are at least three Moon Critters currently here on Earth – as may The Bumblebottoms, whose garden (to be more precise, a discarded washing up bowl at the bottom of the Bumblebottoms’ garden) is home to our Moon Critters whilst here on Earth.

One thing is for sure – where the Karillapig is, you will find chaos, havoc, and general tomfoolery…

The Wild Ones

The stars of this book live all around you. You may not have noticed that cockatoo in your clothesline and realised he has a brilliant military mind. He may be plotting right now how to steal your lunch. And that cute, cuddly-looking possum – he would rather bite your hand than enjoy a tasty treat from you. Watch out! You may not have realised that those magpies in your garden are telling their kids all about you and your family. They know who is good for a feed and who is a dangerous baby magpie killer. Or at least they think they do. They have probably trained your dog and frightened your cat. There are so many characters out there living wild and uncivilised lives, having romances and adventures, teaching their young and protecting them, hiding from you or maybe even trying to make friends with you. Open up this book for a little inside view into their world.

When Your Great-Granny Is the Queen

Many children love spending time with their great-grannies. But there are some enjoyable perks if your great-granny happens to be the queen! George’s great-granny has many jobs to do. However, she always finds time for fun with her great-grandson.