50 Chat-up Lines

Are you looking for love? Do you struggle with the opposite sex? LOOK NO FURTHER...

Enclosed are 50 chat up lines that will end your dating woes! Watch as potential mates fall at your feet.

The Book of Shenanigans

Geoff is having a biblically bad day. For a start, his car gets written off and he loses his job at a call centre in Manchester. Then the Devil tells him he’s the Anti-Christ and unless he delivers the apocalypse, he’ll be tortured for eternity at a call centre in Hell. With the help of the Devil, his best friend, Rob, who turns out to be an infamous duke of Hell, and Mr Sox, a Hell hound trapped in a cat’s body, they are chased by the forces of good and that’s when all the fun starts…

The Book of Shenanigans is the word of God that is full of:

MORE Nuns with Guns                        MORE Talking Animals

MORE Decapitations                            MORE Cute Musical Satanists

MORE Cordless Drills                          MORE Evil Nazis

MORE Tea Drinking                             MORE Scary Stuff

IMPORTANT READING GUIDANCE

The following groups are strictly prohibited from reading The Book of Shenanigans:

British Royal Family               Cancel Culture                             Cartel Members

Catholic Church                      Cats                                               Folk Bands

Mexicans                                 Norwegian Blue Nose Rabbits     Nuns

Penguins                                  Satanists                                        Scots

Seal Pups                                 Serial Killers                                 Snowflakes

Swedes                                    Unicorns                                        Witches

Senior Pleasures

Overnight Tom Hartley became a grieving widower after years of happy marriage and rebuilt his life by making new friends and taking up new interests. He moved house and set up a gardening club which also helped elderly residents and arranged walks and other social activities. After a number of close friendships with lonely ladies, he fell in love with neighbour Helen who had been working with him on the gardening club. Concerned about Tom’s over-friendly nature, Helen insisted on a one-year engagement and that they should continue to live in separate homes for Tom to prove that he could resist temptation. All went well until a glamorous widow moved in next door and began making advances.

An unexpected event brought about a change in plans and Tom and Helen had to sell their homes and move to a rundown property requiring months of hard work and expense to restore. Despite their problems the couple have fun together and their love blossoms. 

Class Act

Biggsy is an idealistic 50-year-old English teacher in a West London boys’ secondary school. A maverick head of department who battled against the educational establishment for twenty-five years, he’s beginning to crack. His departmental colleagues love him, but he suspects that the school’s management team is out to get rid of him.

His wife, Myra, a medical secretary, is his mainstay. She patiently endures his total commitment to his calling without complaint. However, when she realises that his work is taking an inordinate emotional toll on his personality, her patience wears thin.

Through his exchanges with teenage Ella, their only child, Biggsy reveals his beliefs about the connections between literary theory and the lives we all lead. But a violent assault on one of his students, an unexpected sexual encounter and professional betrayal expose the flaws in his philosophy. He discovers that trying to think one’s way through life is all very well, but the time comes when one has to act. 

Bees Make Honey and Butterflies Make Jam

No princesses were harmed in the production of this book except on page 13.

A collection of funny, wicked, modern fairytales, full of princesses, aliens, church mice, buttonholes, frogs, the W.I., and lots of playful mischief — Tom Wells.

I laughed so much I spat out my tea
— Samantha Drummond-Hay.

150 Words That Will Never Sound Angry (most of the time)

In this book, Australian actress and author SuzanMarie has curated a dictionary of words that will never sound angry in any conversation. SuzanMarie discusses and digresses words from 'aglet' to 'zoo' by influencing mindfulness into our daily conversations.

150 Words That Will Never Sound Angry (most of the time).

Use them wisely...