Recollections

I was born a girl and to my parents, it only meant one thing; I would be a servant to my siblings, husband, dad, in-laws and any other person who crossed my path in life. The happiness of my husband, children, family and extended family was important. I would be a cook, housemaid, sexual object to my husband, a mother, a nurse and all the commitments that come from being a servant wife.

Learning respect and obeying was why I was sent to a convent for my schooling. My brothers were more important than me and when the time came I was prevented from becoming a teacher because I was a girl and that would not be my role in life. I was made to believe that my happiness was not important, only the happiness of others. My mum had been my role model and I firmly believed all that rubbish until my husband died. I was finally out of the cage and into a future of freedom and possibilities. To be able to learn who I was and what I liked. Finally, I was able to think of myself.

My life from the age of two has been a huge rollercoaster and one that I never got the chance to get off until I was 64. I have kept a lot of my experiences to myself as I believed them to be my fault. I yearned for someone to love me and not abuse me and to be my friend and my confidant. The only unconditional love I ever got was from my two boys (my dogs Max and Sam) who left me when they were 16. I cherish and feel blessed by my two wonderful children’s love but it’s not the same.

Born in Tunis and brought to London England with her two siblings by her parents. Convent educated and passing her exams she worked temping as a typist. Got married and moved to Kent where she had two children and later settled in West Sussex for nearly twenty years. With the children married she eventually was forced to give up work to care for both sets of parents. When all the parents had passed away her husband was diagnosed with Parkinson’s she moved them to Dorset.She was widowed six years later and it is in Dorset where she still lives.