The One That Got Away

This is a tale never having been told before. It unravels the mystery of that one sock we all have that unfathomably goes missing. It is an adventure that travels the world and beyond, creating mystery and intrigue, littered with vanity and greed, and encountering quirky characters along the way. At first, the sock creates havoc, mayhem and embarrassment and damages precious reputations of the self-important. The sock becomes Public Enemy No. 1, and a bounty is put on its sole. A turn of fate sees the sock redeem itself and become revered, even by those it unwittingly crossed. It is soon hailed as a super hero by almost all. The sock is elected as President of the United States of America. However, skulduggery simmers in the background.A humorous yarn full of unexpected twists, morality, karma and a good few laugh-out-loud moments.

The Flared Black Skirt

With the pressure mounting and only months left, her precision driven, faultless, pregnant boss wants Annie to be nothing short of a perfectionist in this new career.Cremation or burial?Church or chapel?Celebrant or priest?Coffin, flowers and music choices?Have you got the GMO?Where is the DC?Don’t forget the BDM!And the hearse needs a wash!Not only does Annie need to quickly learn to ask all the hard questions while supporting a grieving family, but also to be behind the scenes of a busy and demanding funeral directors’ business, all at the same time.However, while painstakingly and meticulously getting more confident in her new role, a family tragedy finds Annie having to deal with much more than possibly imaginable, while continuing to be professional and caring to her grieving families and drive the hearse in the bloody high heels!

Shirley Tries a New Diet

It seems easy to understand. Just don’t eat anything made by animals. That’s easy to do, right? Shirley feels she needs to do this to attract the best-looking ram on the field. We are all sheep any way, moving around in herds, whether physically or in thought patterns. Could a change in widely accepted diets be undertaken by the herd?

Follow My Leader

FOLLOW MY LEADER HIM?Alive and well and living in Reigate in 1951?Surely not . . .Rowena Furse and Erika von Tirpitz are unlikelyfriends. Rowena loves gardening and opera -Erika loves gin and men. Despite their differinglifestyles, they have something in common -Mr Morell, an elderly German refugee theyhave taken under their wing.One afternoon, led astray by Erika, the usuallyteetotal Mr Morell drinks some gin and, whilstunder the influence, makes an astonishing confession.The revelation sparks a chain of bizarre events -mistaken identity, mayhem at Reigate carnival, andeven murder. The trail stretches from leafy Surrey tothe Canary Islands and back.Is Morell's claim genuine, or is he, in Erika's words, just'plain bonkers'?Ben Grimshaw, cub reporter on the Surrey Mirror, triesto fathom it all out. But it takes his Fleet Streetjournalist brother, Storm, to unravel the truth.Ultimately, all roads lead to the old fort on top ofReigate Hill.

Chemo Summer - A Breast Cancer Journey

In Chemo Summer Jane Hoggar takes the reader through a light-hearted and informative account of her discovery of breast cancer and its cure.Cancer of any description has the capacity to chill those it affects and their loved ones. But for Jane Hoggar early discovery and diagnosis provided for a satisfactory resolution. And it's these small details that might well help people in a similar situation. For example, Jane did not discover a lump, which is the usual thing in breast cancer, but a ‘sag' when she raised her arms and it was her insistence that something was wrong that resulted in a vital early medical diagnosis.All the side issues are covered in the book, effects of chemo and radiotherapy, hair loss and wigs, changes in diet and exercise, making Chemo Summer a valuable and engaging look into a serious and often frightening subject.

50 Chat-up Lines

Are you looking for love? Do you struggle with the opposite sex? LOOK NO FURTHER...

Enclosed are 50 chat up lines that will end your dating woes! Watch as potential mates fall at your feet.

When Saturday Never Comes

With the new four-team English Super League dominating football, supporters Billy, Spud, Amanda and Trevor have had enough.

The four, all supporters of small clubs, have decided that they just can’t sit around while their beautiful game becomes the plaything for the rich.

Frustrated, they plan to fight back and sabotage the ESL and somehow replace the big clubs with the little clubs.

But there is only one problem with this plan. How do four unemployed nobodies compete with ruthless, multi-billionaire owners?

Follow their adventures in this satire on the current state of English football.

Vicky’s Ditties

Vicky’s Ditties is a collection of hilarious anecdotes written by a gutsy and sometimes audacious Yorkshire lass with a wicked sense of humour.

They take you on a journey from her youth, feeding laxative chocolates to scrounging kids in the park, and through her varied careers, starting with working in a pet shop, to becoming a qualified driving instructor and latterly running a farmhouse B&B with the love of her life, Dave, who was blessed with exactly the same larger-than-life personality.

If you want a giggle, this book is a must!

Twice Last Night

This collection of short stories is highly entertaining and impressive due to the variety it contains. Most of the stories have an element of humour unique to Scotland. The variety of stories ranges from teenage tearaways reforming their lives to success coming from poverty, to the effects of a family member being murdered, and to rekindled romances. Also included are stories about dates going wrong, triumph over adversity, holidays, human kindness, party banter, gullible people being exploited, family stories and even a heart-warming granny tale. The key element is positivity and how people emerge from difficult circumstances to improve their lives.

Travails with Thomas: To Russia with Love

It’s the 1980s in Thatcher’s Britain. Two friends decide to go on a coach trip to the Soviet Union to see what life is really like on the other side of the Iron Curtain. Thomas is an inhibited civil servant, warned by his superiors that he could be a victim of a honey trap by a Russian blonde and desperate to see if he can be seduced. John is a journalist, who wants to set the record straight during the journey with former in-laws in Warsaw of a disastrous marriage to a Polish woman. But the trip offers characters and events on the way that confound their expectations. 

The Bums

A half-ass story in a ‘big ass’ book, The Bums follows the lives of two (sort of) ordinary asses named Ethel and Elsie as they go about their business. Sitting around all day semi-discontented at their lot, The Bums poke fun and insults at everyday things and people. A pair of soft arses with hard ass attitudes, The Bums are entirely non-PC, up their own arses, utter assholes. Are Ethel and Elsie merely huge waists of space or does their story have legs? Hold on to your butts! 

The Secrets of a Small English Village

The village’s matriarch, Chantry Bowman-Leggett, has a dilemma. Thirteen dead bodies have been found in the Old Rectory after attending a ‘Swingers party’. Does she call the police or would it be better for the village if the bodies were just made to disappear?

Along with the dead bodies, there are secrets buried in the village.

And then Detective Inspector Lore comes sniffing around and even more drastic action is called for…