The Flared Black Skirt

With the pressure mounting and only months left, her precision driven, faultless, pregnant boss wants Annie to be nothing short of a perfectionist in this new career.Cremation or burial?Church or chapel?Celebrant or priest?Coffin, flowers and music choices?Have you got the GMO?Where is the DC?Don’t forget the BDM!And the hearse needs a wash!Not only does Annie need to quickly learn to ask all the hard questions while supporting a grieving family, but also to be behind the scenes of a busy and demanding funeral directors’ business, all at the same time.However, while painstakingly and meticulously getting more confident in her new role, a family tragedy finds Annie having to deal with much more than possibly imaginable, while continuing to be professional and caring to her grieving families and drive the hearse in the bloody high heels!

Shirley Tries a New Diet

It seems easy to understand. Just don’t eat anything made by animals. That’s easy to do, right? Shirley feels she needs to do this to attract the best-looking ram on the field. We are all sheep any way, moving around in herds, whether physically or in thought patterns. Could a change in widely accepted diets be undertaken by the herd?

50 Chat-up Lines

Are you looking for love? Do you struggle with the opposite sex? LOOK NO FURTHER...

Enclosed are 50 chat up lines that will end your dating woes! Watch as potential mates fall at your feet.

When Saturday Never Comes

With the new four-team English Super League dominating football, supporters Billy, Spud, Amanda and Trevor have had enough.

The four, all supporters of small clubs, have decided that they just can’t sit around while their beautiful game becomes the plaything for the rich.

Frustrated, they plan to fight back and sabotage the ESL and somehow replace the big clubs with the little clubs.

But there is only one problem with this plan. How do four unemployed nobodies compete with ruthless, multi-billionaire owners?

Follow their adventures in this satire on the current state of English football.

Vicky’s Ditties

Vicky’s Ditties is a collection of hilarious anecdotes written by a gutsy and sometimes audacious Yorkshire lass with a wicked sense of humour.

They take you on a journey from her youth, feeding laxative chocolates to scrounging kids in the park, and through her varied careers, starting with working in a pet shop, to becoming a qualified driving instructor and latterly running a farmhouse B&B with the love of her life, Dave, who was blessed with exactly the same larger-than-life personality.

If you want a giggle, this book is a must!

Twice Last Night

This collection of short stories is highly entertaining and impressive due to the variety it contains. Most of the stories have an element of humour unique to Scotland. The variety of stories ranges from teenage tearaways reforming their lives to success coming from poverty, to the effects of a family member being murdered, and to rekindled romances. Also included are stories about dates going wrong, triumph over adversity, holidays, human kindness, party banter, gullible people being exploited, family stories and even a heart-warming granny tale. The key element is positivity and how people emerge from difficult circumstances to improve their lives.

Travails with Thomas: To Russia with Love

It’s the 1980s in Thatcher’s Britain. Two friends decide to go on a coach trip to the Soviet Union to see what life is really like on the other side of the Iron Curtain. Thomas is an inhibited civil servant, warned by his superiors that he could be a victim of a honey trap by a Russian blonde and desperate to see if he can be seduced. John is a journalist, who wants to set the record straight during the journey with former in-laws in Warsaw of a disastrous marriage to a Polish woman. But the trip offers characters and events on the way that confound their expectations. 

The Official Skiver's Handbook

Have you ever noticed how some people seem to get away with doing very little productive work on a daily basis, often to the frustration and annoyance of their colleagues?

Some of these people are just lazy, and you would expect that a good manager will deal with their performance issues sooner rather than later. Some of them are just in a job that they clearly don’t like, aren’t suited to or can’t wait to leave. These people usually don’t stick around for very long before leaving and moving on to another job.

The other type of person is a skiver. A skiver will use all of their experience, skill and knowledge to find ways to do as little work as they can get away with, often while appearing to be a productive and popular member of the team.

This book is for you if you want to learn how to become one.

The Lighter Side

In our lives we encounter many difficult or tricky situations that can make us upset or angry. Susanna prefers to see The Lighter Side of life when this happens. This seems to happen too often, as her readers will see, but as she professes – every experience, good or bad, is fodder for a story!

This collection of stories shares many amusing, as well as poignant responses to life’s little challenges. Many of the stories share Susanna’s husband’s journey along his terminal illness pathway—cancer is a beast! It attacks suddenly, without warning and without manners. It is unrelenting, unmerciful and does not care for feelings. It demands power and wins in the end. Despite Susanna’s incredible efforts to extend her husband’s life, the ‘beast’ became the victor. The Lighter Side shows that all experiences are opportunities to make the most of life’s Pandora's box. It can either be a treasure trove of goodies, as Pandora had expected, or it can be a box of moths!

Susanna’s sagas are her Pandora's box – her chocolate box of mixed delights that she shares with her friends. Her readers all tell her how they respond to each different story, and she is always fascinated by their different responses—we all respond differently to life’s encounters.

The House on Juniper Drive

The house on Juniper Drive becomes home to an assortment of people who take residence there and impact on the life of Judy Vernon from child to adult.

As a rather precocious child, Judy discovers a sixth sense within her. For some reason unbeknown to her there’s a link, a strong connection to this one house.

As Judy grows from childhood into adulthood, she feels a great need to one day own the house on Juniper Drive. But as time passes the likelihood of this ever happening seems to be nothing more than a pipedream. An impossibility.

But can the impossible really happen and a horror be uncovered?

The Haunting of Gaspard Feeblebunny

Young Constable Gaspard Feeblebunny is unfortunate that one evening on a lonely road he sees Death attempting to harvest the soul of Percy Pargeter which has done a runner. It is doubly unfortunate that the new wizkid in the afterlife civil service decides that Death should have an assistant to handle such a mundane task as tracking down ghosts, because Feeblebunny is pressganged into service as a human subcontractor, though with some powers to assist with his task.

This is the beginning of a series of civil service bungles which leave the unhappy constable with a houseful of ghosts and the enmity of a psychotic Sergeant Hardcastle who is out to do him harm. Over time the ghosts are able to join their powers and take control of the young man’s life. This turns out to be a mixed blessing because though they cause mayhem, they also make him a very wealthy man with a series of ventures, not all of which are a spectacular success, particularly their establishment of his flat as a ScareBnB with neither his knowledge nor consent.

The Flared Black Skirt

In this insightful and thought-provoking selection of poems, the reader is taken on a journey through life and death, love and heartbreak, joy and hardship: in other words, human existence in its myriad aspects.
Written in deceptively simple language and often in the form of homilies and riddles, these poems cast the familiar in an unfamiliar light.
Skilfully employing repeating patterns, personification and metaphor, the author offers a compelling reflection on who we are and how we navigate the world around us.